When I read this it blows me away; this is literally my life. Not in a bad way. It is just a life I did not imagine or have planned. Now that I am in my 30’s, I have come to accept that nothing is in my control and that my “plans” have never worked out. I just pray about everything and know that I am being directed and lead on a path. Being a parent has never been my dream. My family laughs at me now and reminds me that I was the one who always said I wouldn’t have children. Being a single mom, was again, not in my plans but having my son was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sometimes, when I look at him, I become so overwhelmed with emotion and tear up because I love him so much. I can’t even remember what my life was before he came.
When people say your “husband” to me, I cringe. I know it isn’t malicious but I am not married and I am perfectly okay with that. I am a “single” mom. Being a mom is HARD. I will be the first to tell you that. My personal situation is a little different. I know that everyone has a story about becoming a mom, single or in a relationship. I can say that NO one is going to parent your child the way you do or have the same expectations on parenting. It can be heartbreaking and disappointing to accept that but all you can do is keep moving forward because your child needs you to. I can’t regret or wish a different life because I was meant to be my sons mother. I trust and believe that.
When I first had to tell people I was a “single parent,” it made me feel so ashamed. Like I failed somewhere. It just sounds so depressing. Single…. Solo…. ALL ALONE…. I am not that in any way. I don’t even like to associate myself as that. I am blessed with a family who is always there for me. My social life has changed for sure. Instead of my girls night out, it’s girls nights in. The only dates I go on these days are play dates. But, there is nothing single about my life. I am a primary parent. I am the one who cleans up dirty diapers and wipes away boogers from his nose. To me “single” just sounds so isolated and sad. I may not have a significant other there to help me day in and day out but our home is full of nothing but love and oils (of course).
We are a family. A modern family. A family that makes it. We are coping. We are happy. We are healthy. Being a “single” parent is not a bad thing. If you are out there, making it on your own, being a badass and super independent than embrace that. Embrace you. Love who you are. Love your life. Things may not look the way you wanted. Life may have handed you some heavy things to hold but remember who you are. The moments of stress, the tears and feeling like you’re not going to make it are just that, moments. Open your heart to love and let life in. I remind myself daily that God’s got me. Remember, everyday, YOU GOT THIS.